WHY ATHLETES CAN’T HAVE REAL JOBS
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Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role
model: “I wan’ all
them kids to do what
I do, to look up to me. I wan’ all the kids to copulate
me.”
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New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season: “I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first.”
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And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the ‘Skins say: “I’d run
over my own
mother to win the Super
Bowl,” Matt Millen of the Raiders said: “To win, I’d run
over Joe’s Mom,
too.”
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Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his
coach, John Jenkins:
“He treats us like men.
He lets us wear earrings.”
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Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann,
1996: “Nobody in
football should be
called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.”
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Senior basketball player at the University of
Pittsburgh: “I’m going to
graduate on time, no
matter how long it takes.” (that is beautiful)
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Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: “You guys
line up
alphabetically by height. And,
“You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle.”
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Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again
with promoter
Don King: “Why
would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to
prison for
three years, not Princeton.”
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Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining
why he keeps a
color photo of himself
above his locker: “That’s so when I forget how to spell
my name, I can
still find my clothes.”
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Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan
training regime of
heavyweight Andrew
Golota: “He’s a guy who gets up at six o’clock in the
morning regardless
of what time it is.”
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Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: “My sister’s expecting a baby, and I don’t know if I’m going to be an uncle or an aunt.”
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Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former
player: “I told him,
‘Son, what is it with you? Is
it ignorance or apathy?’ He said, ‘Coach, I don’t know
and I don’t
care.'”
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Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M,
recounting what he told a
player who
received four F’s and one D: “Son, looks to me like
you’re spending too
much time on one
subject.”
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Oiler coach Bum Phillips when asked by Bob Costas why he
takes his wife
on all the road trips,
Phillips responded: “Because she is too dadgum ugly to
kiss good-bye.”
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Need we say more??
